Diary of a Mature Student: Semester Two, The End Is Nigh
Election Special
Oh, fuck that.
So yes, the last two entries had kind of an odd... disconnect. Going from "Here's the story of a person whose behaviour has hurt me" to "Isn't Bleach great?" is a little odd, I grant you.
It's a little strange, that's all, to have someone just not talk to you, or even acknowledge your existence if they can avoid it. Yesterday, I was blanked three times, which was... nice. Today, we ended up ignoring each other while other people talked around us.
But it's interesting, because one of my fellow students keeps recommending I find some sort of closure, which is a nice, American word for 'not letting stupid shit go'. He maintains that I should send some sort of message along the lines of
Hi!
Sorry we don't seem to get along anymore. Good luck for the future!
Which is a nice sentiment, but it's how I can tell that he's Young. I used to be a resolutionist, too, believing that the Best Thing Ever is to not leave any loose ends. But life isn't like that. The loose ends eventually end up outnumbering the tied-off stumps of the things we do.
Let's put this to the test - not least a test of whether anyone actually reads this - and ask; if someone came on strong to you, then realised that was a bad idea, backtracked, and left it seemingly amiable, then blanked you, ignored you and would seemingly prefer you not to exist for two and a half months, would you feel that charitable?
Anyway.
Deep, cleansing breaths.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Breathe In,
Breathe Out.
It's very strange to feel that this first year is around 70, 75% over. Only a couple of presentations, a few exams and some rather roughshod essays to go, and it's all done with for now.
Hence, Goodbye Halcyon Days, because, well, things only get more difficult from now on.
For instance, the modules actually start to matter. This is in opposition to the modules at the moment where, as has been noted the lecturers actively tell you not to care as long as you pass, and given that in some cases you would have to be clinically dead not to pass, you're probably best off not worrying about the mercurial nature of life and mortality's sudden eclipsing of your accomplishments as opposed to, for instance, The Paramount Decision of 1948.
Is it wrong to think of the first year as a fundamentally broken system? In an ideal world, the first year of a university course is suppose to challenge you just enough to raise your game to the level you'll need for the rest of the modules.
This is, not to put too fine a point on it, a lie. The first year has the following problems;
- Courses have to be easy enough that students from any educational background stand a chance of passing them;
- Courses have to be easy enough to guarantee a generous pass rate - making the lecturers look better, because this reflects on their abilities;
- But they can't be too easy, or they're open to scrutiny, so the person setting them has to walk the fine line between the two.
- Meanwhile, some of the courses have to be prerequisites for other courses, which means if you want to guarantee some measure of attendance for the higher-level courses.
- These courses, meanwhile, go towards the overall averall pass rate for the academic school. The school needs to guarantee an average pass rate in order to continue receiving the requisite funding level.
This means lots and lots of factors depend on students passing enough of their first year, which in turn means making it hard enough to make the students work but easy enough to guarantee some sort of respectable pass rate and average grade.
There we go, anyway. I've loved my first year, but I'm an Old Man, so I'm there to use the cameras and make the films, and the essays are kind of a side bonus, along with the exams.
Maybe tomorrow, in the light of a new government - or maybe a Labour government hanging on by it's fingernails - you'll start to see a newer, less cynical, more positive Eton Crow Director's blog, because it really is a good world out there, sometimes, somewhere, somehow.
Just not after this week, because it's been - for students, at least - backbreaking...
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