You were just like a verse that I didn't want to learn

I feel I've learnt some important lessons over the last few weeks.

(I)

- If you're at a training session, and the trainer is bald and camp, and then offers you three post-it notes to express your feelings on - one word per note - then the following options are not necessarily viable;

"Right", "Said" and "Fred"
"I'm", "Too" and "Sexy"
And even, at a stretch, "Richard", "Fair" and "Brass".

(II)

- Just because the anti-Swine Flu posters in the loos at work state that "The Power is in your Hands", I cannot refer to my penis as "The Power" in mixed conversation.

(III)

- While your mileage may vary on Baz Luhrmann, Sunscreen really is the answer.