If you ever want to get people interested in you, there's a simple way to go about it. Become a short film-maker. Trust me, there's no way any conversation with an authority figure over my recent spate of prop-shopping could ever go well. For instance:
AF: Mr Crow, if you have a minute, we'd like to discuss some of your recent online purchases.
EC: Okay, sure, go ahead!
Authority figure (AF): Thank you. Okay, firstly, can you explain the need for three balaclavas and three pairs of black gloves?
EC: Sure. They're for the ninjas.
AF: [makes notes] Thank you. And the wooden swords?
EC: Yes, they're for the samurai, as was that ugly-ass ring and the sakura pendant.
AF: Thank you. And the five gold teeth and two feather boas?
EC: Certainly, they're for the pimp.
AF: And the flat cap and tobacco pipe?
EC: Well, if I'm honest, they're for the philosopher.
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None of this is hyperbole; we here at Eton Crow believe in the kind of quality that you can only get by buying cheap props on Ebay, and the kind of emotional investment that can only come from a film involving ninjas, mariachis, pimps, businessmen, and samurai.
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